Don't I Know You
by TheBarberAndHisBaker
Summary: Benjamin Barker and Nellie Lovett know each other since they're children but what happens if life has different plans and all the innocent times are forgotten? I don't own Sweeney Todd (sadly).
1. Chapter 1

"Ben, pass that ball!", a boy - maybe 12 years old - screamed over the whole field.

Summer was almost over and it tended to get darker earlier now but for Benjamin Barker it was the most beautiful time of the day. It wasn't too warm but also not too cold and he could enjoy the sunset while playing with his best friends. Those times would be over soon when school started again, so he was glad for every minute he could spend like this.

"I can't pass it if you're so far away!", he yelled and tripped over a stone the next moment because he was rather watching his friend screaming at him than the ground right before him. So he landed right there – on the ground. Slightly cursing, he got up again and cleaned the dirt off his jacket.  
Oh, his mother wouldn't be happy about this. It was a new jacket and she told him every morning again to watch out to not let it get dirty.

As he tried to rub off the grass stains he noticed that he wasn't alone. Right in front of him sat a girl - leaning against a tree and reading a book. She didn't even look up. The little girl was so mesmerized by the story that she was reading that she neither noticed the boy who had been landing not even 5 metres next to her, nor his friends who were laughing out loud about it now.

He glared at them shortly but concentrated back on the girl then. Benjamin never understood what was so exciting about books that people could spend hours completely lost in them. He rather spent his time outside, running around, climbing trees…that's the way he loved to spend his time. But that girl kind of excited him. She was wearing a dress that reached her knees. It was coloured in a dark blue that looked even prettier in the evening sun. Her auburn hair hang down her shoulders in funny curls she obviously wasn't able to tame properly.

There was something about her that was different from other girls. She didn't mind to sit in the grass although this would cause stains on her dress. Also, she didn't sit up straight and with crossed legs like most the girls he had seen before. Benjamin always found it weird that parents taught their girls how to stand or sit properly but though, it was normal to him. So, it was even more surprising to him that this girl didn't seem to have suffered from those lectures. She almost seemed kind of….like a boy. Not because she wasn't pretty or didn't look girl- like but just the way she was sitting there told Ben that she was different.

And he didn't see it in a negative way…

He didn't even know how long he was standing there simply looking at this unique girl as one of his friends tapped him on the shoulder. He winced.

"Oooh, Ben likes this girl.", one of his friends shouted and the boys broke out in childish laughter. Ben shook his head.

"No, no. I'm not." He wasn't in the mood for one of these stupid games. He was simply looking at this girl. That wasn't something bad. His friends used to do this as well and he definitely didn't make fun about this. And why would he? There's nothing against looking at a girl. He never liked all this rumours that came up by just looking at a girl. He found this silly. Liking someone that wasn't a boy didn't always mean something romantic, right?

The laughter of the boys finally caused the girl to look up from her book, though. She rolled her eyes and wanted to lose herself in the story again as her gaze met Benjamin's. She hesitated a moment but sent him a warm smile then. He couldn't help it and simply smiled back. There was something in that girl's smile that automatically raised the corners of his mouth and gave him a comfortable feeling.

His friends seemed to notice because one of them started whistling and gained another wave of laughter from the other boys. The girl didn't mind, though.  
The whole time her eyes would be concentrated on Benjamin's as if the world had stopped and nothing around them was happening.

He threw an angry glance at the other boys but they just went on laughing.

"Alright, we already leave you alone, Ben." And with those words they went back to the field and continued the match.

Ben looked back to the girl who didn't stop looking at him.

"Sorry for that. They always get … silly when girls are around.", he said with an apologetic smile.

"And you don't?", the auburn-haired girl asked curious.

Benjamin shook his head and just shrugged it off. "I wouldn't know why I should act different around you just because you're a girl…right?" He looked at her as if he was waiting for some kind of approval.

She sent him another one of her smiles and it already came natural to him to return the smile. There wasn't that weird feeling he normally got when he talked to strangers. He almost felt some kind of connection between them, he didn't quite understand at that time.

The girl stood up from her place. Benjamin already expected her to straighten her clothes and get rid of all the dirt that surely found its way on her dress but nothing happed. She just got up and stayed like this. Another surprise.

"I should go home.", she said with a light smile on her face, as if she herself wouldn't be too happy about that fact.

The boy just nodded. He knew how angry his parents got when he came home too late, so he understood that she surely didn't want to experience her parents angry either.

The girl just wanted to turn around and leave as he stopped her.

"Errr….I'm Benjamin." He held his hand out to her and felt a little stupid the next moment for this weird gesture.

The girl turned around again and chuckled as she saw his stretched arm right in front of her.

"I knew this already…".

Benjamin gave her a confused look. She saw it and fast added: "Your friends called you Ben just some minutes ago. Guess that is your nickname then."

He nodded, remembering that moment.

She chuckled once more and finally shook his hand, ending the weird moment.

"I'm Eleanor but please, call me Nellie."


	2. Chapter 2

School started again and everything went back to normal. Normal like totally boring in Ben's eyes. He had rather continued sleeping late every day, meeting friends and just enjoying the nice weather but now he was sitting back on one of those hard benches and listened to an old woman talking about some things he couldn't quite grasp at that moment.

There was something on his mind that kept him from concentrating. Ben didn't know why but every time again his thoughts would flash back on that girl and their encounter a week ago. It wasn't the girl itself that confused Benjamin's mind so much but rather her whole appearance. All he knew was that he wanted to meet her again and find out more about her.

But he had no idea how…

In his school he was only surrounded by boys and if he asked one of them he knew he would only earn weird looks and laughter. But looking for her would be only as pointless because in a city as big as London it was rather difficult to find a girl of which he only knew the name.

He sighed annoyed. So either he accidentally sees that girl again or he should maybe just forget about her. Yes, that was probably the best idea. He looked up from his table he was staring at the past hours and focused back on his teacher and the things she was talking about. Something with circles and calculations. How boring. He stared back at his table.

After some more hours which seemed endless to him, he grabbed his school bag and headed home. Maybe if he hurried up with his homework he still had some time to play outside. Maybe he would also meet the girl – Nellie, he reminded himself – again.

He shook his head fast. No, forget about her. Just playing some ball games with friends. That's all. Once he arrived at home, he was greeted by his mother who allowed him to go out but just if he proves her that he did all his homework properly. So, he sat down at the big wooden desk in his room and started. The fact that he didn't paid as much attention to the last lesson as he probably should have the homework took longer as he had hoped for. That meant he couldn't spend much time outside as he previously planned to.

But it was still better than nothing, so he changed into his outdoor clothes and ran out. He knocked on several doors of his school friends but soon he found out that neither of their parents allowed them to go out. Either it was too late, or they had to help in the household and the last mother didn't even want to give him a proper explanation.

Disappointed, he sat down on a big stone and swung his legs. _Great way to end a boring day. _The sun was already going down and he knew that he had to go home soon again. Sighing he stood up again and walked back, keeping his eyes to the ground and kicking a stone in front of him.

"Got up with the wrong foot today?"

He heard a chuckle behind him and he _knew_ that chuckle. Suddenly not so upset anymore he turned around and was greeted by a smiling auburn haired girl. Automatically he returned the smile.

"I just wanted to spend the rest of the evening with some friends but it seems like no one has time today."

"Good that I found you then. I'm all by myself as well."

She smiled again.

"How about finding a big tree, climbing up and watching the sunset?"

This idea sounded perfect in his ears and he already wanted to tell her that he loved to do so as he realized something.

"My parents told me to be back home before it gets dark."

Nellie tilted her head and closed her eyes, obviously thinking concentrated.

"Well…we could watch the sunset and you go home before the sun isn't down completely, then you run home and you're still back before it's dark." She smiled, obviously very proud of her idea.

Benjamin weighed his options. She was right, he was still able to be home before it's dark. His 12-year-old mind told him there was nothing to worry about, so he agreed and they started looking for a large tree.

After some time of walking and chatting about their days, they found a tree that fitted both their expectations and they started climbing up. Benjamin was surprised how elegant and fast Nellie managed to get up on one of the larger branches as if she never did something else in her life. Soon he was seated next to her and they had the greatest view over the city.

"It's beautiful up here." Benjamin admitted.

"I know. I always come here when I need some time alone or have nothing to do. It's really nice and relaxing here." She threw a smile at him and swung her legs.

She was right. It was indeed relaxing and the setting sun created a beautiful and comfortable atmosphere around them. This morning he wouldn't have dreamed that this day would have a nice ending at last. He could get used to this. If only everything was as easy as talking to Nellie and watching the sun going down. Ben could have sat there for hours but soon he had to realise that the sun was dangerously low already and their surroundings got more and more difficult to see.

"I…think I have to go home now."

It was obvious that this was the complete opposite of what Benjamin would have loved to do at that moment. But he also didn't want his parents to be upset when he didn't get home in time. He feared that this could be the end of afternoon activities and he didn't want to risk that.

"Alright." was everything Nellie replied and they made their way down the tree again.

As they walked back to the street they were coming from Ben noticed his chance and asked: "Maybe…we could repeat this?" He looked to the ground, already expecting to be refused.

Even more surprised was he that Nellie just smiled warmly at him and replied: "I'd love that."

And so this became their 'thing'. They would meet every late afternoon and would watch the sun until it reached a certain spot, and then they would head home already eager for the next day.

Although this became a routine, they never got bored and always found something to talk or laugh about. Ben soon found out that Nellie was living with her parents and a younger sister. Her father was a trader, so not at home very often. Her mum was taking care of the children and also educated them at home because they hadn't enough money to afford a school.

Benjamin once mentioned that he was sorry for that but Nellie just shrugged it off. She said she wasn't sorry because her mother taught them everything they needed for their future and the things Ben learned in school rather bored her. He never saw it that way. To him, school was something essential, something you simply _had _to do to learn and to provide a good future but he soon found out that Nellie was clever indeed. Maybe she didn't know Latin or couldn't tell you how to calculate a circle's volume but she knew how to bake, she knew what birds where singing in the morning or the easiest way to get a free piece of cake at the baker in the street near their favourite tree. And in Ben's eyes, this was far more important than all the things he could learn in school.


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Just to not confuse anyone. I'm going to skip through the months a bit. The chapters won't be day, following day. I just wanna rush things a bit to get the story going. So, yes... it makes sense that some months since their first meeting passed already. You'll hopefully see.  
__

Weeks and weeks of school passed by without any big changes. Although Benjamin was mostly bored by whatever his teachers were talking about, he couldn't care less since he had something to look forward for some months now. Or rather, _someone. _

Nellie turned out to be such an entertaining and joyful person that Ben couldn't even remember how he spent all his time before the two of them met. He was happy that he still managed to do all his homework; otherwise his parents would get suspicious since Ben had always been one of the best students in his class. And he couldn't risk any trouble with them, although all the fun he had with Nellie would have been worth any risk.

In several weeks the auburn haired girl managed to show him parts of London he didn't even knew of and he started wondering why, because they were so beautiful that it was very hard for him to leave them again most of the time.

One time, they walked for at least an hour and Ben already started doubting that Nellie still knew where they had to go. He kept asking and asking her every few minutes if they wouldn't be there any time soon – complaining how his feet hurt and how hungry he was – but she just kept on convincing him he would thank her when they arrived.

And she was right…

After a longer walk through some greener, forest-like parts, they arrived. In front of them was the river Thames and indeed, that is nothing special since Ben saw the Thames every day he walked to school but the sight of it at this certain spot, was simply breathtaking. The water was glittering in the sunlight and now it started getting colder, the grass around them was covered in a white blanket which made the place look like the fantasy world out of one of his favourite stories his mother used to tell him when he was younger. It took him a moment to fully take it in and Nellie just chuckled, obviously content with the reaction she created by bringing him there.

They sat and talked for several hours until it was time for Ben to go home but Nellie had to promise him to bring him there soon again and she agreed happily. They soon had a few favourite spots in the city, so they could pick where to go each day.

It was a normal but still very cold winter day, when Ben left school this noon. Nellie and he agreed to use this snow filled day to build a snowman and maybe Ben could also convince her to have a little snowball fight with him. If she didn't agree, he would simply throw one at her and things would develop. He chuckled at that thought. Nellie wouldn't turn down the chance to beat him at something.

After the lesson came to an end, he had grabbed his things without even putting them properly into his bag – just throwing them into it carelessly – and stormed out. He was so happy that the school week was finally over and he had the weekend – which was hopefully filled with fun – in front of him.

He walked – or rather ran – to the place where Nellie and he had planned to meet. Nearly tripping over his own feet and surprised by his own speed, he arrived and looked around.

_Weird. _

Normally Nellie was always the first. She had no strict school times like he had, so she usually arrived earlier at their meeting point but not today.

_Did something happen?_

Ben started worrying. Possible scenarios started playing in his head. Maybe she fell and hurt herself, maybe her family was robbed and the burglar had kidnapped her or worse…

He panicked. He had to help her. Ben turned several times, looking around helplessly. How should he find her? He didn't even know where she lived. How could he ask someone? He didn't even know her last name.

When he thought he had completely lost his mind, it got dark.

_What the bloody hell is going on?_

After his brain slowly started working again, he noticed that someone had put his hands over his eyes. That explained the sudden darkness.

A sudden relief flashed over him. But wait...who was it?

"Shall I leave you alone, so you can continue jumping like a bug bit you?"

He heard a chuckle behind him that he grew so fond of the past months.

He had to smirk lightly because he could imagine how silly he must have looked like but when he got her hands down and turned around to her, he put on a poker face.

"That wasn't funny", he replied, glaring at her.

"You scared me to death."

"Well…to me you look pretty lively", she said, chuckling again.

"Where have you been", he asked, suddenly remembering what caused his sudden 'outburst'.

"I worried. Usually you're the first to be at the place where we're meeting."

"I know. I had to help my mum with the household. I'm sorry, didn't want you to worry."

Her eyes looked so honest and true, that he couldn't be angry – or at least pretend to be – any longer.

"Just don't scare me like this again", he finally replied, poking her nose playfully.

"Hey!", she exclaimed, completely taking by surprise by Ben's unusual action.

"Don't do that. It makes me feel like a little child."

"I'm sorry. You're not a child. But we could argue about the lit-"

Before he could even finish his sentence a snowball hit him right on his chest. He looked up from the white spot to meet the face of a grinning Nellie. His former plan of them starting a snow ball fight worked without him doing much about it.

Now being challenged, Ben grabbed as much snow as his hands could hold.

"Oh, just you run, Eleanor." He smirked and started forming the snow in his hand to a ball.

Nellie – obviously threatened by the use of her full name – just stuck out her tongue to him and began running across the snow-covered meadow.

When Ben was satisfied with his creating, he started heading after her. He had to admit, she was quite a fast one and it took him some while to catch up with her.

Benjamin tried to grab her jacket but she always found a way to escape him again. So they continued running through the snow, not stopping a minute to catch their breaths again.

Though, after a while, Ben noticed that Nellie started to get slower and he saw his chance. Taking a deep breath and speeding up once more, he finally got hold of her. Nellie tried to escape once more and attempted to pull herself out of his grip.

Ben – who didn't expect this sudden movement – lost his balance and fell right into the snow, pulling her with him.

After both recovered from the _shock_, they started laughing.

"Alright, first round goes to you" Nellie admitted and slowly got to her feet again, wiping the snow off her clothes.

But Benjamin heard in her statement, that this definitely wasn't going to be the last round that day.


	4. Chapter 4

"You know what day it is?"

Nellie looked at him – with those big brown eyes – and with an expression on her face as if she expected him to know what made her grinning since they met that day.

It was a very cold January day and it had been snowing through out it. Though, Nellie grinned as if Mother Nature herself promised her the best outcomes for this season. And until now, he had now idea what had put her into such a good mood. He just knew one thing; he wanted to know.

But he wouldn't make it so easy.

"Um…Tuesday?"

He definitely triggered the reaction he wanted. She sighed dramatically and pulled her scarf tighter around her neck, to protect herself from the icy wind that was blowing this afternoon.

"No, silly. It's been 5." She smiled at him. He had no clue. Sometimes this girl was a complete mystery to him.

"5 what?" he tried.

"5 months", she replied happily.

"Ah…", he responded. Still no clue.

She put her hands on her waist.

"Doesn't that make you happy?", she asked – obviously upset by his unenthusiastic response.

He sighed.

"Nellie, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. I just have absolutely no idea what you are talking about."

Her face lit up again.

"We're friends for exactly five months now", she confirmed happily to him.

_Oh._

Now he got all the excitement.

"Well…that's…nice."

"We have to celebrate!"

"But…don't you rather celebrate when something's going for half a year…or a complete year?"

She shook her head.

"No, that is boring. Besides, five is my lucky number. So, we definitely need to celebrate today." And again, she smiled.

He had to smirk. Of course, only Nellie could get such an idea. Though, he had to think about it again. For five months now, they had met nearly every day. Mostly except Sundays because they were reserved for their families but the other days, they shared the main part of their free time activities. The weeks and months had passed so fast, he hadn't quite noticed until she mentioned it some minutes ago.

"Well, if it's your lucky number, I don't really have a choice, do I?", he asked her, chuckling at the enthusiastic nod she was giving him.

"Yes, and I have already planned something great! Buuuut…" she pulled the word extra-long; probably to keep up the suspense.

"I won't tell you now."

His face fell. "Nellie…" he pouted. "You know, I hate surprises."

The girl wasn't impressed by his attempt for pity or an earlier response, though.

"You still have to wait for this evening." She said, smirking knowingly.

"This evening?" He slowly started to doubt that Nellie still knew what she was talking about.

"How shall I see it this evening?"

"Oh, right. That's the other matter. You have to convince your parents to stay off tonight."

If she hadn't looked so serious, he would have laughed at her for such a naïve suggestion.

"And how exactly shall that work?"

She tilted her head and closed her eyes – how he had witnessed so often now – thinking concentrated about a reply.

"Can't you…tell them you're sleeping at a friend's tonight?"

"Are you suggesting me to lie to my parents, Eleanor?" He tried to act shocked by this idea but he should have known better. His eyes gave him away anyway. Ben knew Nellie wouldn't get this thought for nothing. So, whatever she was planning, it was definitely something that would be worth a little lie. That's why he agreed; already putting together what he would tell his parents on the way home.

It took longer to convince them than he had thought but in the end, they had given in because it was weekend and he still had enough time for all his schoolwork the next day.

So, by the time the clock stroke 7, he had packed some things he thought he might need together. He had rather done that provisional since he had no idea where she might take him.

Ben also got her favourite candy. He had learnt that Nellie was very fond of the sweets with the red and blue stripes. They would always see them when they walked to their favourite tree in the park. On their way there was a candy shop and each time Nellie would throw a longing glance through the window and swoon, always telling him how delicious these certain sweets were but that she couldn't afford him.

But not today. Special occasions require special actions and since Nellie always had these great ideas and always surprised him again, he thought it would be only nice to give her something back. And what better chance was there than their _five _month friendship anniversary?

He chuckled – remembering how excited she had been about the fact that it was their fifth month of being friends. She was such a unique girl.

Ben said good-bye to his parents and was off then. Nellie told him to meet her again at the spot they had parted some hours ago, so he headed for the park.

The sky already turned darker and soon the street lights were his only guidance.

When he arrived at their meeting point, Nellie was already there.

She turned to him as he heard his footsteps in the snow and greeted him with a warm and friendly smile.

"There you are. Right in time."

"Would you finally tell me for what, please?" He pouted again and was ignored once more.

"Don't be so impatient, Ben." She chuckled. "I'll show you."

She held out her hand to him and he took it without hesitation. Then, she led him a bit through the park and finally came to a halt.

Benjamin looked around and was greeted by… nothing. He frowned. He didn't expect something big but at least _something._

Nellie sat down on a bench and waved him to her. He looked confused at her.

"Nellie, what…it'll surely start snowing any time."

She shook her head and swung her legs.

"It can't, Mr Clever. There aren't any clouds in the sky." She chuckled.

He looked up. She was right. The whole sky was enlightened by stars.

"Now come here and don't spoil the surprise", she said – slowly growing impatient herself.

So he obeyed and sat down next to her.

"Just a minute", she said and lifted something next to her.

_A blanket. _

He looked at it sceptical.

"Are you planning to stay here tonight" he asked – grinning at her.

Her response took him by surprise, though.

"Of course, silly. That is the surprise. We're going to stay here all night and watch the stars."

He looked at her. She shot him once of those warm, enchanting smiles and all his former doubts were gone.

"You are crazy, Nellie" was the only thing he could say – smirk-smiling and pulling the blanket around them, so that they could cuddle into it and the icy winter breeze would do them no harm.

"I know", she replied – sliding closer to him so they would have more blanket to cover themselves.

"But you like it."

She grinned playfully at him.

He sighed.

"Yes, yes, I do." He smiled at her.

They both leaned back on the bench and finally took in the full beauty the night sky granted them tonight.

"This is breathtaking", Nellie said after a time.

"It truly is", Ben had to admit.

"My mum always told me that stars are the souls of angels who watch us from up there and protect us."

_What?_

Benjamin turned his head to her – not believing what he just heard.

"But you don't believe that, do you?"

Nellie took her dreaming eyes off the night sky and looked at him.

"Why not?"

"Isn't that obvious?" Ben asked – confused why they were even having this conversation.

"I mean…everyone knows it's just a thing in the sky, out of gas and so on…"

Nellie frowned. Judging her look she wasn't satisfied with that statement.

"Well then, tell me. What story is nicer?"

He thought about that for a moment.  
She was right. Hers gave him a happier feeling than his – which had in fact – no meaning at all.

He sighed, defeated once more.

"Yours…has its advantages."

She smiled.

"Thought so." She lent back again and kept on watching the night sky but Benjamin stared to the front. _How did she always do this? _He always thought the things he was taught in school would be basic knowledge – things you simply _had _to believe. But every time again, Nellie would come around with a story so impossible but at the same time, so logical and nice that he simply _wanted _to believe it.

"Sometimes I ask myself why I still go to school when you know everything better without going there."

She chuckled at that remark, amused by his statement but he wondered if there wasn't a little truth in it.

And so they spent almost the whole night watching the stars and discussing possible stories about them, while eating the candy Ben brought.


	5. Chapter 5

It was slowly heading towards spring time. The trees were getting greener again, the sun was shining more often and the first flowers started to blossom. It was one of those typical spring days when Nellie decided to pick up Ben from school.

They already knew for several months now and though, she had never seen where he went to five days of the week and where he learned all that ridiculous stuff he was telling her. Nellie had to ask a few people for the building because it was located in a part of London she normally never visited. She remembered that Ben had told her once that his school days always ended at 2 pm, so she headed there and arrived just in time.

Loads of pupils – all boys – stormed out of the building to head back home for lunch. She looked around and had to admit that it was indeed a very impressive – almost scary – building. Nellie had no doubt; she would have got lost in it. That's why she leaned against the fence and watched the boys – waiting for _her _boy to finally come out.

After some minutes he finally exited the building – surrounded by some friends she had already seen during their ball game last summer and some new faces.

She grinned as she saw the surprised expression on his face. He had spotted her and obviously hadn't expected anything like that to happen that day.

"Surprise, surprise" she greeted him as he finally arrived in front of her.

"Nellie…what are you doing here?" he was still shocked but a smile slowly crept onto his face.

That was the reaction she wanted, so she smiled back.

"I thought…we were going to meet today anyway, so I could also pick you up from school."

Another smile. He returned it.

Their moment was soon interrupted by some whistling and whispering from the boys around Ben.

"Ooooh, Beeeeen…is that your …" immature chuckle from the group before the small boy – who had addressed his friend – continued. "…girlfriend?"

The whole group burst out laughing on what Nellie reacted with rolling her eyes.

Ben shook his head: "I told you…we're just friends."

Now a larger boy with weird eyes and longer, greasy hair took over.

"Why are you hanging out with…someone like _that_ anyway?"

_Oh, he didn't say that._

Nellie put her hands on her hips and just wanted to tell the boy what on earth he was thinking as Ben cut her off.

"You don't even know her. Stop talking about her like that. She's a nice girl."

"Aw, now he's standing up for her. You have a guard now, little girl."

The whole group laughed again.

Nellie tried a second time and was interrupted again – by Ben.

"I think that's really mean of you."

"Ben, she doesn't even go to school. She's stupid."

"I'm not stupid!" Nellie snapped at him.

The boy looked at her – with an amused look on his face.

"Oh, no? Then tell me…what is the capital of France?"

Nellie looked confused at him.

"Why should I know this? Am I living in France?"

They laughed. Now another boy – a rather healthy-fed boy with a pig nose and straw-blonde hair – turned the attention back to Ben.

"How do you even keep a conversation with her? The only thing she knows is to steal some bread!"

All the boys gave her a judging look. She shivered. She'd never felt so humiliated before in her whole life.

"Nellie is my friend and I don't care what you say. Come on, we'll go."

And with that he took her hand and pulled her with him.

Nellie was angry. She didn't want to leave yet. She wanted to tell all those stupid boys what _she _thought of _them._

"Let me go back! I have some things to tell them!"

She tried to pull herself out of Ben's grip but soon she gave up, he was stronger than her.

"Nellie, be reasonable. They're stupid, just ignore them."

"But I don't want to ignore them. They insulted me! How can these boys be your friends?"

She got angrier with every new thought she wasted on them.

Ben sighed.

"Normally they're not like this. It's just because…well…"

"Well…what?" Nellie asked, slowly losing her patience with him.

"Well…you know, because you're a girl. They just want to…act like they're stronger and everything…"

"Yer know wot I think? I think they're bloody idiots! Insulting me like that! Wot are they thinking?"

It was one of those moments when Ben noticed her thick Londoner accent. She tended to speak like that when she got really upset about something. Like the one time when they had planned to go swimming and all of a sudden – or not so suddenly for British weather – it had started raining cats and dogs.

Of course, Ben was sad that they weren't able to swim but they had so many other opportunities for free time activities that it hadn't bothered him too much after all. But for Nellie, it was like the end of the world.

She went on ranting for nearly half an hour and Ben got maybe half of it because she was talking very fast and in that just mentioned accent. It had kind of scared him, if he thought about it now but at that the same time, it had been awfully adorable. How she always put her hands on her hips, raised her voice and spat out these words, he never had heard before or maybe just didn't understand when she pronounced them so weirdly.

"Nellie, would you please calm down… I'll talk to them about it. You know I'll always stand up for you."

"That's the point!" She almost yelled, finally pulling herself out of his grip.

"I don't want to be protected by you. I can stand up for myself!"

_At least the accent's gone. She can't be too angry anymore. _

"Sorry…I just thought it was nice…" Ben looked down – kicking a stone aside.

Nellie sighed.

"It was. Just…I can do it alone. I appreciate your help but…don't do it, alright?"

Ben looked up to her again and sighed as well.

"Alright… can I at least help you defending yourself then? You can…do all the talking part and I only interfere when it gets worse?"

She thought about that for a moment – tilting her head as usual.

"Fine" she said after a time. "I think that won't be too bad…"

"Friends?" he asked hesitantly.

Nellie frowned.

"When did we stop being friends?"

Ben sighed relieved.

"Good, I just thought-"

This time Nellie was the one to interrupt him.

"You shouldn't think so much, Mr Clever. You see how all the other boys end up when they think too much."

He laughed lightly. Sometimes this girl was simply too smart for her own good.

"Alright, no thinking from now own" he replied jokingly.

She rolled her eyes.

"No…I don't want to be seen with a stupid boy either." She stuck out her tongue.

Ben smirked and tousled her hair. Nellie shrieked and jumped aside slightly.

"Don't do that! It's already so messy!"

"Can't get worse then, can it?" He nudged her playfully and she rolled her eyes once more that day.

"Why do I even waste my time on you, Benjamin?"

She smirked and leaned on him while they were walking to their favourite tree – the place where they would spend their afternoon.

"Because I still have to tell you the capital city of France, Eleanor."


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: To Tyler-ann because you're not signed in. I'll really try not to ruin anything. But fact is, Lucy will be in the fic in future chapters and there will be some drastic changes. There's no story without some drama. _

_I hope no one will hate me for that but I promise I'll make it good again in the later chapters. _

The days were getting longer and hotter. Especially the latter. It was an unusual warm summer in London.

Most people stayed in their houses – where it wasn't colder but at least they didn't have to confront themselves with the real warmth of the burning sun outside. And the ones who had to go out for work or other errands were constantly fanning themselves and switching streets to find some unlighted spots.

It was also summer break. Ben and Nellie enjoyed this time because it meant they were able to spend whole days together instead of short afternoons. Mostly they were playing in the park but sometimes Ben would buy ice-cream for the two of them, although Nellie didn't really like being in debt.

"Nellie, don't be silly. I'm your friend. I like to pay."

But Nellie promised, that one day she would pay everything back to him, although Ben wasn't quite sure how she meant it at that time.

Today was different, though. Ben shifted from side to side all day, like he had a problem and wasn't sure how to put it into words. Nellie had noticed right away.

"Would you finally tell me what's wrong with you?"

"Alright, but…don't be mad, promised?"

Nellie frowned.

"Why should I be mad?"

"Just promise." He looked at her hopefully.

She sighed.

"Alright, I promise."

He nodded and focused back on the ground.

"Alright… every year in the summer holidays, my parents and I…"

He hesitated.

Nellie was getting impatient.

"Your parents and you what?" She looked confused at him.

"My parents and I… go to the sea. For three weeks."

The message hit her out of the blue. She opened her mouth to reply but her mind was blank, so she closed it again.

Not used to the silence, Ben looked up from the ground and threw a worried glance at her.

"Nellie, say something. Please."

She tilted her head to the side and thought about it. Three weeks. Three whole weeks. It would be awfully boring without Benjamin. But she couldn't expect him to change his whole life just because he met her.

"Alright…" was the only thing she said after a while which seemed endless to him.

He looked at her, sadly.

"Nellie, I'm sorry…" but she cut him off.

"No, don't be sorry. That's alright. It's just…you're going to the sea. I always dreamed to go there. My whole life…"

"It's not that great actually. It's just some…water."

"Now don't ruin its magic."

He scrutinized her. She really meant it; she really craved to go there.

"Today, I promise you. One day, we'll go to the sea together. It will probably take some time, but we will. I swear."

Nellie looked up to him. He was looking at her so truthfully and honest that she simply had to believe him.

"You know, swearing is a really dangerous thing to do."

He shook his head.

"Not if you're sure it's going to happen."

"And you are …sure?"

"I did swear, didn't I?"

She nodded and he gave her a warm hug – he could see she needed one.

"And now smile again; like I love it or I'm going to be sad forever, do you want that?"

He bent back a little to look at her and she replied his look with a smile.

Maybe not one of her real smiles but it was a start.

"Can you bring me something that reminds me of the sea? Maybe some sand or shells?"

He smirked.

"I'll bring you as much sand and as many shells as you want."

"Then I hope you have a big bag and that you don't need any other things because this will be the only thing fitting in."

She grinned and this time it wasn't put on.

He tickled her lightly but was completely shocked by the reaction that was coming. Nellie wriggled in his arms and started laughing really hard, trying to get out of his grip.

"Nellie…" he got out. "I was tickling you for maybe a second…"

When she got her breath more regular again, she glared at him.

"Don't do that!"

He looked at her and the side of her was just too adorable. Her hair was all messy from her previous _outburst_ and her hands had found her hips again and now she was childishly glaring at him. Ben simply had to laugh.

"Not funny! How would you like it, if I tickled you?"

He shrugged and grinned as she wanted to approach him.

"Just try. I'm not ticklish."

She frowned and put her hands on his tummy, moving them. No reaction. She sighed dramatically.

"That's unfair. You can always use that against me now."

"And I'll do this? You really think I'm that mean?"

He grinned again.

Nellie looked at him, eyes narrowing.

"Actually yes, Benjamin. You are _that_ mean."

"Then better watch out from now on, Eleanor. It could happen any time."

Her glare was slowly falling off her face – replaced by slight panic. Ben laughed lightly.

"I'm just winding you up. I'll only do it when you tease me. So better be nice to me."

"I'm always nice to you" she said – pouting.

"Aw, just look at you. Adorable."

He smirked again as she rolled her eyes.

"You're an idiot."

"But at least I'm no ticklish idiot" he replied – tousling her hair.

She laughed lightly at that remark while pulling some strands right again.

"Fine, that one goes to you."

They reached the street where they usually parted and everyone went off to their homes.

But today they rested there because both of them knew they wouldn't see for a while now.

Nellie's previous laugh was wiped off and she looked at him smiling half-heartedly.

"Well then…see you in three weeks."

"It's not forever, Nellie. Those three weeks will be over faster than you think now."

"I really hope so" she said and hugged him.

He returned it – pulling her closer to himself.

They stayed like this for some minutes before both of them got a step back.

"Have a nice summer, Nellie" he said and turned to walk down the street.

She just wanted to head back as well when something swept her mind.

"Benjamin!"

He turned by the sound of his name and came back to her.

"Yes?"

She looked at him hesitantly and obviously searched for appropriate words in her head.

"Can you…promise me something else?"

He looked at her surprised.

"What is it?"

"Just promise."

He frowned.

"Nellie, just tell me and then I can tell you if I can promise or not."

She bit her lip and looked down.

"Nothing…" she turned around to go.

Obviously, there was something. So, he stopped her and turned her back.

"Nellie, come on. Tell me. You don't have to be afraid to tell _me _something."

She looked up at him and seemed to find the needed courage in his look.

"Promise me to never leave me alone."

That one took him by surprise. She looked so worried; like her life was depending on his decision to make the promise or not.

He thought about it. Ben liked that girl. He really liked her. More than all of his other friends. Sometimes he even felt like they both had some kind of connection, only they would understand.

"I promise you, I will never leave you. No, I swear it."

She looked at him and smiled, both of them parting as it slowly got darker and darker in the streets.

Only a twelve-year-old would have thought that promise was an easy one to keep.


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N:  
__To sm4567- Thanks for this kind review. __I'll try to watch out better for those mistakes, haha. I hope you'll stick around.  
__To thelovelyflorencelovett- Thanks so much for your kind reviews. I can't reply to them directly, so I'll do it that way. Thank you.  
__To Tyler-ann- I hope you won't hate me, but Lucy will have a place in this story. It just doesn't make sense without her, sorry. I hope you'll keep on reading to see that this doesn't necessarily mean something bad…later on.  
__I just love me some drama, you'll see… *hides*  
__All your reviews warm my heart and keep me going, so thanks so much. Love. Xx  
____

The weeks passed. Benjamin was bored; Nellie was bored. The only difference was that Ben had actually something to do and got used to swimming and walking along the shore each day, while Nellie was all by herself like before she met him.

She couldn't even remember how she had spent her time before Ben came along. And now that Nellie got so used to having him around it was almost unbearable to think of something useful to do now that he wasn't there.

Most of the time, she was just staying at home, helping her mum with some chores or reading some books. She avoided going outside because either it was burning hot or it was simply too depressing to go for a walk all alone if normally you had spent that time with your best friend.

Nellie also thought a lot in that time – about everything actually. It made her sad that Ben could spend three weeks at her favourite place in the world. Of course, she had to admit that she's never been to the seaside before but everything she heard about it and saw of it until now made it seem so beautiful that she simply couldn't shake the thought of going there off.

Today was different, though. It was the last day before Ben would come back. Nellie's been very excited all day that she was afraid she wouldn't fall asleep that night. Her parents had asked her what was wrong with her but she tried to find excuses and after a time they would give up and just let her alone with her enthusiasm.

In her head numerous things came up how to spend the next day, when Ben was finally back and there would be an end to this unbearable boredom. They could go to their favourite tree in the park or maybe they would go back to the place at the Thames he had loved so much the last time. Yes, the last one definitely sounds appropriate as a welcome.

She fell asleep that night with a happy smile on her face – keen for the next day to come.

She woke up at 6 am in the morning. She jumped out of bed and rushed through the place she lived.

"I'm out" she called – after getting ready and sweeping out fast.

They had set up their meeting before he got off to holidays. Ben had promised to meet her as soon as he arrived back here. Nellie didn't quite know what "as soon as he arrived" meant so she just sat down on the stone they had agreed on and looked out for him. It could mean anything, though. He could already be here but he could also arrive in the evening.

Nellie sighed and focused on the people passing her. Not many at that time, though. Some seemed to go to work while others just came home from it obviously.

She frowned and rather took in the nature around her. The trees that were slightly moving in the morning breeze, the birds who flew around in the sky and the Thames which was floating in a nice rhythm. This sight calmed her down and she forgot about time for the next hours.

It must have been noon by now because the children who had played on the grass before went home, probably to get some lunch. She sighed. Still no sign of Benjamin anywhere. Maybe she mixed up the days and he wouldn't come home yet. Nellie always forgot about time when she had nothing to do, so it could also been just one week that had passed.

She hoped she was wrong.

After some more hours she spent there by simply sitting around and changing positions every few minutes, she made out a familiar shape in the distance. Nellie sat up straight and tried to focus her look on it. The height, the brown hair that was shining in the afternoon sun, the jumpy walk.

It was him!

Nellie leaped up from the stone she had been sitting on the last hours and ran towards him. He noticed her as well and a huge smile crept on his face. The boy opened his arms to welcome her and she almost jumped into them.

He had to fight with his balance for a moment but held her laughingly then. They hugged for a while but to them the while couldn't have been long enough. It felt so good to have him back again and he just felt the same.

When they parted and their gazes met the smile still didn't disappear.

"Your hair got longer" Ben pointed out and was the first one to end the silence.

"Really? I haven't noticed. Can it grow that much in three weeks?"

"Well, obviously" he replied. "But I like it."

He sent her a warm smile and stroked a strand of hair out of her face.

She replied the smile.

"So, how has it been? Tell me everything about the sea."

Although it wasn't the same not being there she actually enjoyed the way Ben described it to her – everything – the blue water, the sand and the cloudless sky. Remembering the promise he had made before leaving, a smile rose on her face and she was even more confident about being at the seaside one day as well.

"And that one evening when we celebrated my birthday, the wa-"

"What?" Nellie was so enchanted by his story-telling that this new information pulled her back to reality.

"The…water?" he asked confused.

"No, what you said before."

"Oh, when we celebrated my birthday."

"When was it?"

Ben frowned. "Last Wednesday."

"And you didn't tell me?" Nellie looked disappointed at him. "We almost know each other for a year now and I didn't even know when your birthday is."

"Oh…but that's nothing bad. I don't…like them too much."

Nellie's jaw dropped.

"There are people who don't enjoy birthdays? But they are great. You get presents; there are people around who you like." She smiled just at the thought of it.

"Well…you weren't there" he admitted with a half-hearted smile.

This confession went straight to her heart and she could feel how a warm feeling filled her. She didn't expect such a statement from him but now she was even keener to change his view on birthdays.

"Then we will celebrate it today, together." She smiled at her great idea.

"But…it was last week."

"Yes, but that hardly sounded like a real birthday. I think I have to show you how it's done. Meet me here in an hour again."

"But I just got you back… I don't want you to go again already."

Nellie smirked lightly. "You see me again in no time. Wait for me here."

And with this she was off.

_This girl_. He sat down on the stone Nellie had been sitting on before. Ben was so happy to finally see her again and now he was really excited what idea had popped into her head. He had never spent too many thoughts about birthdays. Last year they had celebrated Nellie's on the tree in the park but he had completely forgotten to tell her his birthday. He didn't even mind because his birthday was simply annoying to him but maybe she would really change his mind on that.

After an hour, Nellie came running, obviously really out of breath. He had to chuckle at the sight.

"I could have waited two hours if I knew you would look like that after one" he mocked her.

She rolled her eyes and pulled him off the stone; just now he noticed that she had a big _something _with her.

"What's that?"

She followed his look. "A cake, silly. What would a birthday be without a cake?"

"I've never had a cake before" he admitted.

She paused mid-walking and turned to him. As her eyes met his truthful ones, she nodded.

"I think it's finally time for you to get a real birthday."

Nellie took his hand and pulled him with her.

After a time the surroundings became familiar to Ben again and he realized where they were going. She was taking him to the Thames place again. He smiled. She didn't forget that he had asked her to go there again one day. And today indeed seemed like the perfect day for it.

They sat down in the grass and Nellie put the cake into their middle.

"I hope you'll like it. I used to bake often with my mother."

After the first piece, every doubt about Nellie's baking talents was forgotten.

"This is delicious" he said – getting himself another piece.

A huge smile crept onto her face. They sat for the next hour eating the cake when Nellie turned to him after the last piece's been eaten.

"I have something else for you."

That took him by surprise. He thought the cake was his present and he really enjoyed that one, so what else could there be?

She pulled something out of her pocket.

"Close your eyes" she said when she noticed his look on her.

"But-"

"Ben, please" she pouted.

He smirked lightly and did for her, although it felt kind of odd. As he suddenly felt something on his neck, Ben winced.

"Don't open them yet. Almost done." The feeling stayed for a few moments and was gone then.

"Alright" he heard Nellie's voice a bit further away again. "You may open them."

So, Benjamin did hesitantly. But everything he saw was her right in front of him. He frowned.

"What-"Then he remembered the strange feeling on his neck so he looked down.

Around his neck hung a necklace. The pendant was a small round one with an N and a B in it.

"It's a talisman." Nellie watched him as he scrutinized his present. "It will protect you from everything evil in this world. So you should never take it off."

He looked at it. It was so well-worked; he couldn't believe it was handmade.

"You did that?" he asked – not believing someone being able to do so.

"I learned it from my dad. He has this…thing you know. With which you can make swords and other metal stuff. I rather prefer making small things with it."

She smiled at him.

"This is so beautiful, Nellie. How can I ever make that good again?"

"You don't have to."

"But you're always doing so much for me and I-"

"You're already doing enough for me by being my friend" she said before he could finish her sentence.

"You don't make it hard to like you" he replied, slightly smirking.

Nellie slid closer and hugged him for the second time this day. Ben just made her feel so good; she doubted he knew _how _good. With him she could be herself and forget about all the troubles, just have fun and enjoy her childhood.

He gave her a reason to look forward every day. Ben simply kept her going. The least thing she could do was give it back to him best she could.

"I never want to live without you again" Ben said as it got later and it was almost time to head back home.

"I'm the last one to leave you."

Nellie knew that wasn't an easy promise to make, but she meant it with all her heart.

"You're the best friend, I've ever had." Ben looked at her and she was confronted with his deep and honest eyes that she loved so much.

"And I always will be" she replied truthfully.

Nellie had been right; birthdays could be wonderful when you spent them with people you loved.


	8. Chapter 8

Something had changed; they both had noticed. But it wasn't Nellie and Benjamin - times changed.

Usually they would have spent every free time they got together but now Benjamin was either stuck with school work or his dad demanded him to help him in the shop. His father was a barber and so he did expect Ben to look up to him and learn his profession.

Ben really didn't mind; he actually enjoyed it. Shaving came so natural to him – he assumed it was because he had watched his father do it so often already that he remembered every move now. It calmed him down somehow. He could forget about all the homework or trouble with his friends - sometimes even family.

The only thing he couldn't forget was Nellie, and how much he had missed her the past weeks. That one day he tried to convince his parents to just let him out for the afternoon to spend some time with his friends. Of course, he hadn't told them what friend he actually meant. But his father said he had to help him with his work and so another afternoon was lost.

Ben missed his childhood. He was only 13 years old and he already felt all the pressure of his upcoming future. He knew his father was just trying to help him and he also knew that he would take over the shop one day; he just didn't expect it to crash down on him all of a sudden. Ben always thought he still had some years of innocent and enjoyable time in front of him.

He felt awful. Not only because he couldn't spend with Nellie but also because he wasn't able to even tell her why. She must worry or maybe she's even upset or angry with him. He didn't know which was worse…

It was the same for Nellie but with one exception – she didn't have a distraction. The last weeks have been awfully boring. She's never realized what a great part of her life Ben had become the past year. And now that he wasn't around every day she noticed how sad and lonely her life really was.

Of course, she had her family. But it just wasn't the same. She needed her friend; her best friend. Her father was out most of the day – desperately looking for a job to provide his family with food, clothes and whatever else they needed. But for a man of their class of society it was rather difficult to find something proper and permanent these days.

Nellie's mum would cry herself to sleep every night, when she thought their two daughters were asleep already. But Nellie couldn't sleep either. She knew her mother was suffering as much as her father. She saved every spare piece of food she could find and gave it to the children – not caring about her own hunger. Although she could hide it over the day, it seemed that in the night all the demons caught up with her and kept her awake.

Though, Nellie would never tell anyone about her problems. She never did. Although Ben was her best friend, she never bothered him with this kind of problems. He must have enough problems himself, so why annoying him with hers?

In the past years, she learnt how to cope with these issues on her own and got kind of used to putting on a happy and optimistic mask each day. It already came natural to her and she preferred pretending to be happy instead of thinking too much about the real problems.

In fact, Ben made her forget about these; even if only for an afternoon. But now that he wasn't around, Nellie had the time again to think about these problems – too much time.

Every day, she would walk to the places where they normally met – every day hoping she'd come across the boy's face, just to be disappointed again and again. She didn't know where he lived but even if she did, she probably would have been too afraid to go there. His parents didn't know about their friendship and she guessed it was better like this. Nellie neither wanted to seem like a desperate child who didn't know what to do with her time when Ben wasn't around. They would eventually cross paths again to a given time.

And she was right.

On a Saturday morning, Nellie was thoughtlessly walking through the streets. She didn't expect to see Ben today. The last days without seeing him had put her hopes down so that walking to their places was more of a ritual for her now.

She kicked a stone in front of her – like she had seen Ben do it so often. Her eyes were mainly focused on the street.

"Pillar!" shouted a voice behind her. She shrieked, so taken aback by the unexpected sound that she froze and stood up straight. Only now she noticed that a large wooden pillar was right in front of her. If the person hadn't warned her in the right moment, she definitely would have run against it.

The person caught up with her.

"The streets in London get especially dangerous when Eleanor is walking through them" the now familiar voice mocked her.

There was only one person calling her that.

"Ben!" she spun around to greet a smiling face but it only took her a second to jump into his arms.

He laughed lightly into her hair and replied the hug.

"What a nice greeting."

"I missed you so much. Where have you been?"

He sighed. "I missed you, too. My dad wanted me to be in his shop almost every day. I wish I would have been able to tell you but I almost had no free time at all."

She looked at him and could see the honesty and sadness in his eyes, so she nodded.

"I understand this. But… now you're here."

The smile on her face rose again.

"Yes. I have three hours until I have to be back, so let's better go fast to our tree in the park."

They exchanged knowing looks and both ran off. After some climbing and heavy breathing, they sat on one of the thicker branches at last and gazed over the city.

"It's still as beautiful as I remember."

Nellie leant against Ben and he put an arm around her – almost reflex-like. She felt so save with him – as if all of the world's trouble was forgotten by simply having him around and she couldn't ask for something better.

"So, how is working with your dad?"

Ben was still looking forward and taking in the sight in front of him.

"Well…he can be really strict and controlling but I like the profession. Shaving can be really calming and nice. It's like a distraction, almost as if I could forget everything else. You know what I mean?"

_Yes, because that's how I feel when I'm with you_, she almost replied but then just nodded – trying not to ruin the rather intimate moment they shared.

They let the subject of their rare time together fall and concentrated on the few hours they now had. They talked about everything that came to their minds – from Ben's stressful school schedule to Nellie's failed baking project.

One time, Ben started laughing so hard at the image of Nellie pouring all the flour over herself that they both had to make sure he wasn't falling down the branch.

They had cuddled up together for another hour when Ben carefully pulled himself out of the hug.

"I should better head back. If I'm not in time, dad will be angry and we both definitely don't want that" he said with an apologetic smile.

Nellie sighed. She understood that he had to go back and help his dad but she couldn't switch the feeling of disappointment and this slight touch of jealous, that she wasn't the most important thing in his life anymore, off.

They both climbed down the tree again.

"I'll walk you home today" Nellie said out of the blue.

Ben spun around to her – obviously surprised.

"You what?"

"I'll walk you home today. I never did. And since I have nothing to do anyway, I get the chance to spend some extra minutes with you."

She smiled so beautifully that he gave up all attempts to talk her out of it and simply agreed with her offer.

They walked down the street. Usually they would have parted – Nellie would have turned left and Ben would have turned right but today both of them walked down the right side of the street.

"I've never been here before" Nellie said – taking in all the unfamiliar buildings around her.

"It's so big and colourful here."

Ben only shrugged.

"It's fine. It doesn't look as colourful anymore when you take the same path every day."

She looked at him and nodded.

They took some more turns and walked some more streets when Ben came to a halt.

"Well, here we are" he said as they stopped in front of one of the larger buildings.

_So, that was where Ben lived?_ Nellie couldn't believe it. She always thought those houses belonged to people like judges or bankers but obviously, Ben's father has to be one hell of a barber.

Ben noticed the way she looked at the building and got kind of uncomfortable.

"Well…I better go" he said – rubbing his head, looking to the ground in front of him.

Nellie suddenly noticed how odd her scrutinizing had to feel for him, so she paid attention to him again.

"I'm sorry… I just didn't expect something like _this_." She didn't want it to sound like that but Ben's reaction showed her that she probably put a bit too much stress on the last word.

"Nellie, you know, I don't care about how big a house is or-"

She stopped him before he could finish the sentence.

"It's fine. It doesn't stand between us. We're friends, no matter what, right?"

"Right" he replied relieved – obviously she had lifted a great burden down his shoulders.

She smiled and hugged him tightly.

"I hope we meet again soon."

"Me too, Nellie" he said and hugged her back. "I'll take every chance to see you. Let's just hope it's sooner rather than later."

He stood up straight and lightly lifted her feet off the ground with that.

"Eleanor, you really are a small person" he said – smirking as he buries his face in her hair.

Nellie just smiled – this time not caring about him addressing her with her full name.

"Who is that and what on earth do you think you're doing, Benjamin?" a very upset voice behind them asked and interrupted their peaceful moment.


	9. Chapter 9

They both froze in their position, still clinging to each other – now probably more desperately than the moment before. It gave them the naïve feeling that it was only an illusion and everything would be fine again if they just held onto each other a little longer.

But the next moment the illusion was broken and Nellie felt how Ben was harshly pulled away from her. A tall man with deep folds and an angry frown on his face had pulled him away.

"Why are you spending your time with that brat!?" he yelled at Ben before he slapped him hardly so that the boy hissed in pain.

Tears welled in Nellie's eyes. _How could someone do that to her friend?_

Ben was slowly catching his breath again and looked panicked at the man who was still holding him.

"Dad…she's my friend."

His father already raised his arm for another slap when Nellie shrieked and drew both their attentions to her through that.

"Please, don't hurt him" she said – trying to keep her voice calm. "He didn't do anything."

Nellie couldn't believe that this brutal man could be Ben's father – that a father could do this to his son at all.

"Don't talk to me, you scum of the street!" he hissed and Nellie shivered as his words reached her.

She remembered when Ben's 'friends' had talked to her like this and how awful she had felt. But this man managed to make her feel just twice as worse. The girl didn't even dare to look at the man because she was afraid of the expression she would find on his face when his words could already do so much harm to her.

"Don't talk to her like that! She's my friend. I won't allow you-"Ben screamed as his father's hand met his cheek again which was already painfully red.

"How are you talking to your father? I shall teach you some manners!"

He started pulling him towards the house but Ben moved in his grip and tried to free himself.

"Let. Me. Go. Back!" he managed to bring out with every pull but his father was simply too strong.

"You'll never get the chance to meet this _girl_ again! From now on, I will watch you every minute. And don't you even dare to escape. I'll find you and then the red mark on your cheek will be something you're begging for!"

His threat made Ben freeze in his position – unable to move. He always thought of his father as a role model, as someone he wanted to be like. But now that he reacted like this because he had seen his son with a girl who didn't own as much money as they did – he didn't know if he should cry or be upset. He'd never thought that his father could do this to him. Of course, there were times when he had been angry with Ben – like parents sometimes are with their children. But never ever had his father hurt him physically, especially not in this amount.

He could still feel the burning of his cheek and knew tomorrow it would be a large black and blue mark.

Ben's gaze went to Nellie whose eyes widened at the words which had made Ben numb just the minute before. Tears were streaming down her cheeks and Ben felt his heart breaking. He didn't want to be the reason for her tears. He never wanted to be the reason for any pain. She didn't deserve this. She only deserved happiness.

But his father had enough. With one last strong pull he had managed to get Ben inside the house where he pushed him against a wall. The boy struggled and slid to the ground then. Fear rose in him again. _What would happen now? Would he kill him? Could he do that?_

Suddenly Ben's mother rushed in.

"I heard screams and shouting, what-". She caught side of her son lying on the ground and clashed a hand on her mouth to quieten a gasp.

"Get out. I need to teach my son some manners." His father looked down on him coldly – not even bothering to spare a glance at the woman who just rushed in.

"But Will, do you-"

The man rose his hand to silence her.

"Go!" he said in a calm but threatening voice.

She looked pitying at her son on the ground but left the room then. His last hope was gone.

His fathers knelt down and moved dangerously close to him.

"And now listen. Listen carefully because I'm only going to say this once, understand?"  
His cold eyes were staring right at Benjamin's face; no affection or sympathy left in them.

Ben could only nod – his mouth had gone completely dry.

"If I ever see you with that girl again, you're praying for your death when I catch you. From now on, you'll go straight to school, come home, do your homework and then you'll be in my shop until we go home together. No free time for you anymore, no meeting friends. Ever again."

Ben knew his father wasn't even waiting for his agreement. Instead he just pulled him up carelessly and pushed him towards the stairs.

"And now go up and sleep. Tomorrow's a lot of work waiting for you."

"But dad…tomorrow's Sunday."

His father looked at him and Ben went completely numb again.

"No free days for you anymore." And with that he left the corridor – leaving Ben all alone.

It took him a moment to realize what just happened: It wasn't a nightmare. His life that had been so beautiful the one moment, had changed in a few seconds.  
It had become his own, his real nightmare.  
And from now on he was going to experience it, every day.

But Ben didn't care about working with his father; he didn't fear his punishments anymore. He didn't even care about his still aching cheek. It'd become a worse situation now because he knew his father would lay hands on him again someday. But at least Ben had experienced the true face of the man.

The man he once thought he'd know so well.  
The man he once thought to be his role model.  
The man he once loved as a father.

But now, all that admiration for his profession, the appreciation, the respect was gone.

These good feelings just turned into one dark, brutal one: hatred.

After all, thing that hurt him most and which wouldn't leave his mind was that he had lost Nellie. He had lost his best friend. The one person who'd always been there for him; the one person who had always managed to make him smile and laugh, no matter what.

_Promise to never leave me alone._

Her words echoed in his head. How blind, how naïve he'd been.

He was the reason they would never meet again. He had been so careless. He should have known something would go wrong if Nellie brought him home.

He was the reason Nellie had cried. She had to witness his father turning into a monster. Ben couldn't even put into words how Nellie had to feel while watching the scene.

But the worst thing was that Ben had broken his promise. And there was no way to ever make that good again.


	10. Chapter 10

Silence.  
Days filled with silence.  
Weeks filled with silence.  
Now already months filled with nothing but silence.

Ben got used to it. Every day was the same: he got up at 5 in the morning, went to school, came back, and helped his father in the shop. On the weekend, he got up at 7 and helped his father the whole day. It all became such a routine that he wasn't sure anymore if he was still aware of the things he did or simply did them out of reflex already.

Since the day Benjamin's father had caught him and Nellie together, both of them hadn't spoken a word to each other except half-hearted some "Morning!" or "Give me that razor".

It wasn't like Ben really cared, though. He enjoyed the silence between them because he was still hoping that one day his dad may get tired of it and apologize.  
Until now he had waited for nothing.  
It seemed like his father expected the same of him; but Ben wasn't going to give in. He'd rather spend the rest of his life ignoring this man than giving him an apology for something that had ruined the boy's life.

He missed Nellie so much.  
Ben didn't know it was actually possible to miss a person that much. At night, he thought about all the times they had spent together; laughing so hard they had to make sure of not falling off the tree, the snow ball fights or the never-ending conversations about what kind of tree it was they've just passed.  
Nellie had always won.

The boy never took off the necklace she had given him for his birthday. It felt like the last thing that was true, the last thing he had which no one could take away from him. Ben was glad that his father wasn't aware of it being a present from Nellie; otherwise it already was gone now, too.

He tried to put all his energy into shaving his father's customers. He felt like it was the only thing he was really good at. Ben could forget everything around him when he was shaving; when he was just focusing on not cutting the soft face skin; when he was only seeing the white shaving lather instead of the old man watching him; although it was just for a short time. But this short time gave him the power to keep on living and not going completely insane with his father around every second.

Ben wasn't even allowed to meet his school friends anymore and he felt like they didn't even care about that. The only person who cared about him all that time - who really cared about him - was Nellie. And now she was gone and Ben felt like his life had lost every meaning she had brought into it.

Nellie, his best friend.  
Nellie, his light in the dark.  
Nellie, out of his life forever now.  
Nellie, gone.

_Nellie._ _Gone._

He wondered how she felt about the situation; if the girl felt the same way or if she had already forgotten him again. But he knew; he wouldn't get an answer.

Her parents wondered. The people in her neighbourhood wondered. Even Nellie wondered what happened to her.

Since Ben had disappeared out of her life, Nellie had shut off completely. She wasn't talking; she was barely eating and drinking anymore. The first weeks her parents had tried to talk to her, tried to find out what was wrong, but Nellie had blocked off.

She had completely isolated herself from any social contact. Nellie stayed in her room for most of the time and only got out when her parents called for her or when she at least had to eat once a day.

Her once so cheerful mood was gone.  
She'd always been so good at covering her feelings and pretending everything was fine when it definitely hadn't been, but that wasn't longer the case.  
Not since that night.

The first days after she had seen Ben's father hitting him she had tried to pretend it didn't happen; that it was only a nightmare and she would awake from it sooner or later.  
At one point, she even tried to pretend Ben had been nothing but an illusion to fill her loneliness but she soon had realised that she was only hurting herself more with that.

How could she deny Ben? How could she deny all the great times together?

Even now that he was gone and Nellie didn't have a clue how he was or what he was doing, she could do nothing but thinking about him.

With his disappearance, he also took all the happiness and worth out of her life. She knew it wasn't his fault and she wished she was able to simply turn back time and erase that evening.  
But life was no game in which you could change the rules whenever you didn't like a certain turn-out of events; or when you wanted to have old, good times to come back.  
Nellie had learnt that lesson sooner and more drastically than she had imagined she would.

_Ben was gone now. Out of her life.  
Gone. Forever. _

Her best friend had been taken away from her and the only people in her life now were her parents and her sister. Of course, she loved them but since they had given up talking to her, they became kind of invisible to her world as well.  
Nellie was on her own now.

She wondered if Ben missed her sometimes, just a little.  
Maybe he didn't even think about her at all.  
Maybe he had found other friends, other ways to spend his time  
Maybe he didn't even notice she was gone.

Sometimes life was so useless. Though Nellie had nothing to live for anymore, she had to face her future. And even if it was supposed to be without Ben, she had to find a way to live it, had to find a way to deal with things and simply had to accept the solitude from now on.  
But could she?


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N: Alright, this took really really long and I'm really sorry. I don't even have a good excuse except school and writer's block. I've been having the first 500 words of this chapter done for weeks now and somehow didn't find the time to finally continue. So...bla bla bla, I hope some of you still stick around to read this and here you go...Chapter 11._

- 5 years later –

This summer - in fact - was an unusual warm one.  
Nellie enjoyed it, though. She loved wearing her dresses and walking through the tepid breeze every day.  
Today Mrs. Mooney - the baker she's been working for since last year - had asked her to grab some ingredients from the market place. She had happily agreed to this; glad to catch some fresh air and see the sun outside.

She loved how everyone seemed to be happier with the sun and warmth around. Children played games in the park, everyone seemed to be joyful. Nellie passed the park and stopped shortly as a large tree caught her attention for some seconds. She shook her head and walked on, down the street.

She got lost in thoughts. Her memory shot back to the day that had changed a great part in her life. Nellie had lost her best friend. Of course, she had moved on – she had to but it didn't mean that she could simply erase all the cheerful moments they had. She still missed him – missed him every day. The only thing was that she had learnt to deal with it over the years. She got kind of used to the feeling of loss inside of her, as if it had become a part of her existence.

She took a deep breath and wiped those thoughts off her mind again before she reached the market place and strolled through the rows. By now, most of the faces there were familiar to her, so it became a nice habit to chat with the owners of some booths or some customers passing by.

Nellie looked through the list Mrs. Mooney had neatly written down for her and made her way through it. She bought some flour, some milk, some eggs and some butter. She couldn't have been better off with the job the older lady granted her. It was indeed really hard work but the payment was worth every hour. She still had no idea why Mrs. Money had given her the chance to help her in the shop but she was thankful for it every day again.

"And a bunch of these beautiful primroses" Nellie told the salesman as he was getting her ordered goods together. It had become a nice tradition. Whenever she went to the market she made sure to get some primroses for Mrs. Mooney. Those were her favourite flowers and Nellie loved how her face always lit up when she saw them. She often tried to stop Nellie to buy them for her. But for the girl it was a nice way to at least show her gratitude towards the woman - who had got her a job – in a small extent.

After she finally had collected everything she wanted she made her way back. This time she took another way because whenever she got the time to be out, she always used this time to explore new places of the city she has lived in so many years now. And every time she was surprised again about how many places there were she hadn't seen by now.

Not only the streets of London had changed quite a bit over the last five years, Nellie had changed as well. Her hair for example had grown. It was now reaching the middle of her back and although it still took her hours to comb the mess and get it in a right order, it looked more elegant, more lady-like now. In fact, time had changed and Nellie had become a real lady. Her figure was curvier, more woman-like now and although she mostly ignored it, she couldn't say she wouldn't enjoy the glances some boys granted her every now and then.

But at present, Nellie had convinced herself to fully concentrate on her work. Everything else would work out later. At least she hoped so.

She made her way back to the pie shop - passing more and more people as she entered the busier part of London. It got harder and harder to make her way through the crowd and it wouldn't be surprising if she got run over sooner or later.

Nellie sighed dramatically - kneeling down and collecting the groceries that fell out of her bag after a collision with some tall man.

"I'm awfully sorry" a male voice above addressed her. "Some people become really rude when they're busy and just push around."

He knelt down next to her and helped her collecting.  
She could hear in his voice that he meant the apology, so she couldn't be angry anymore and greeted the kind stranger with a bright smile.

"Oh, don't worry. That's no-" she caught her breath.

Nellie scrutinized the boy in front of her: the brown hair, the unique shape of his face, the cheekbones, these deep brown eyes-

She put a hand on her mouth before a loud gasp could escape her lips and stared in complete shock at him. The boy noticed her sudden mood change and eyed her confused. He already opened his mouth to form a sentence when his eyes widened. He scanned her face with his eyes and you could make out the complete shock in his face - the way every muscle tensed.

They stared at each other for what seemed like hours but probably only had been minutes while the people kept on passing them.

"This…this can't be true…" the boy finally interrupted the awkward silence but without taking his still widened eyes off of her.

Nellie was still not able to form anything useful since her mouth seemed completely dry and she feared she might choke if she only tried to say something.

The boy was faster to realise their situation, though and got up with one jump - holding his hand to her. It took the girl a moment to get what he intended with that gesture but took his hand then and let him pull her up. He then collected the rest fast and held the bag to her.

She nodded which he took as a non-verbal "thank you" and Nellie got the bag over her shoulder again then.

He then awkwardly looked down and kicked a stone away - as he always had done when he was bored or when he didn't know what to say.

"Please…say something" He hesitantly threw a shy glance at her before he focused back on the stony ground.

Nellie could do nothing but stare at him. After a moment, she took a deep breath and opened her mouth.

"I thought, I'd never see you again…"

It came out more like a whisper and Nellie herself was shocked how weirdly her body reacted on this encounter.

Shouldn't she be joyful? Shouldn't she hug him wildly? Shouldn't she have a huge grin all over her face?

Neither.  
She felt completely numb - her body blind to every emotion.

The boy took his eyes off the ground and focused back on her.

"Me, too" was everything he said for the next minutes.

Without any verbal agreement, they made their way down the street. It was as if they both noticed without any conversation that standing around in the streets for hours had no sense. And eventually Nellie noticed that Mrs Mooney would worry if she didn't come back in time.

After some corners, he had taken the bag from her shoulder and continued carrying it. Usually, she would have protested because she hated it when people reduced her on being a girl and not having enough strength to carry her own bags. But today she let him. Probably because her mind still didn't function the way she was used to.

"Your hair got longer…"

It was such an odd way. Nellie had pictured their reunion so often in her mind although she never could have been sure there would be one in the end; this sentence simply seemed inappropriate. But she knew, he was just trying to say something - so that she was happy they didn't rest in complete silence.

"Yes, I let it grow. It's a complete mess anyway - no matter how long."

She heard a little laughter next to her and felt her heart leap as she threw a glance at him and noticed that her statement had caused this reaction. And this little sound broke the tensions.  
She felt a grin spread all over her face.

"It doesn't look so messy, though." He smirked at her and almost out of reflex she poked him softly.

"You think you're so funny, hm?"

"No, I know I'm so funny."

He stuck his tongue out to her and she rolled her eyes.

"You're such a child" she mocked him.

He only shrugged it off and they spent the rest of the way with such conversation that didn't seem to be important but brought them closer and closer together again.

"Can I see you again?" he asked hopefully as they stopped in front of the alley that would lead Nellie to the pie shop.

"I've waited 5 years, 19 days and 17 hours for you. Do you really think I let you go so easily again?"

Nellie realised what she had just said and mentally hit herself for being so silly and making herself so vulnerable to him. He had to think she's a complete creep who couldn't live properly and had spent her life in grief since they had parted.

But he didn't even look shocked for a second. The boy again looked to the ground shyly.

Oh no. Did she embarrass him? Well done, Nellie.

"20 days…" he mumbled.

She looked completely flabbergasted at him. Did she understand right?

He noticed her surprised face and looked back at her.

"It's been 20 days…"

So the years, days and hours had been just as present to him as they were to her?

Nellie felt her heart beat faster. Her body filled with endorphins as she realised he had missed her just as much.  
But although she couldn't be happier that moment, she still had to clarify something.

"No, I'm serious. It's been 19 days."

He looked confused at her and already opened his mouth to protest when she stopped him.

"I didn't count the last day in. It just didn't seem right to count in the day that separated us."

The boy closed his mouth as Nellie's words reached him and he looked at her with these deep brown eyes that where now wearing a sad expression. He made a move towards her and pulled her into his arms.

It felt so right.

His warm arms around her; his body that felt like it could protect her from anything wrong in this world; his soft voice some inches above her head that could have told lies which she would have taken as pure truth for any price.

"I'll never let that happen again. I made a promise and I'm finally going to keep it."


	12. Chapter 12

Nellie wiped the sweat off her forehead with the back of her hand. It was unusually hot today. She could barely breathe in the kitchen she has worked in since dawn. The girl found a rhythm to splash some water into her face every few minutes; otherwise she would have collapsed on the ground already.

The oven that was baking right behind her wasn't really helpful in the process of cooling down either, so Nellie rather tried to concentrate on the dough in front of her.

She was looking forward to the end of this work day. Mrs Mooney had promised her to close earlier today since no one wanted to eat warm meat pies on such a hot day anyway.

Nellie shoved in the last tray of pies and closed the oven with a loud bang. She then lent back against the counter and took some deep breaths.

At last, she thought to herself and got rid off the apron around her waist. Cleaning the flour and the rest of dough off the table, she threw a glance at herself in the mirror.  
The girl looked like a complete mess. Her dress was covered in sweat, water, flour and anything else you could imagine in the process of pie making. Nellie sighed dramatically.

She hoped she could head home soon and change into something cleaner when a loud knock on the shop's window interrupted her thoughts. She turned her look into the direction of the noise and was greeted by warm brown eyes and a happy grin. Her dirty clothes were suddenly forgotten and she returned the smile.

Benjamin then came into the shop and stopped in front of her.

"Someone's looking especially beautiful today" he mocked her and threw a glance at her dress.

She rolled her eyes. "That's how you look when you're working hard all day."  
Nellie hit him softly with the towel in her hand and amusingly watched Ben jumping back, in a try of not getting dirtied by the filthy cloth.

"I'm working hard as well and still look good and clean."  
He smirked playfully and already stepped away from Nellie to avoid a second confrontation with the towel.

"That's why you came here; to tell me that I'm dirty?"  
She threw a judging look at him but knew he'd notice that it was only an attempt to make him feel guilty.

"Of course not, milady." he bowed exaggeratedly.  
"I'm here to make an offer to you."

She couldn't help it but laugh at the view in front of her. But she decided to play along, so she put on the most arrogant look she had and answered:  
"And what kind of offer shall that be?"

He smirked - slipping out of character for only a second - before he put on his obedient attitude again.

"I questioned myself if milady gave me the honour and joined my bathing time in the Thames on this hot summer day."

"And why should milady do that?"

He slowly looked up to her, grinning playfully.

"Because she looks like a dirty rat!" Ben started laughing and ran out of the shop before Nellie was able to hit him.

"I'm going to demote you!" she shouted jokingly after him and followed then.

Already on the way to the spot they had discovered years ago, Nellie noticed that this would be a great idea. Outside it was even warmer than it had been in the pie shop.  
They both were craving for the cold water on their skins.

When they had almost reached the Thames, it suddenly hit her out of the blue.  
She didn't have any bathing suit. Why hadn't she thought about it?  
The last time she had been swimming was when she was a little child and since then neither her, nor her parents had ever had the chance again to go swimming.

What should she wear? She could hardly go in there in her dress - with all the thick layers.

Ben noticed her sudden mood change and looked confused at her.

"What's wrong?"  
He scrutinized her, trying to make something out of her shocked expression.  
She shook her head fast, slightly blushing.

"Nellie, come on…"

She took a deep breath and focused her eyes on the ground.

"I…forgot that I…have nothing to wear…for swimming."

Benjamin looked at her and you could literally see the wheels turning in his head.

"Well…you...surely wear something beneath this dress, don't you?"

Nellie felt how her face turned into a deep red.

"Of course, I do!" She noticed how her voice went angrier which was a reaction to hide her actual feeling of being uncomfortable.

"Well then…" Ben shrugged "then what's your problem? Just take the dress off and we can go swimming. That's what I do as well."

Nellie mentally slapped him.

"Yes Ben, but you're a boy. That's different!"

"Why?"

"Because…because…"

She noticed he had already won the argument but she wouldn't leave it without a try.

"What if people pass by?"

Ben smirked.

"Okay, at first: we've been here so often. No one comes here. And since when do you care about other people's opinion, Eleanor?"  
He mocked her and was using her full name.  
She sighed. It must have been stupid of her to even have these doubts.

"Fine, you've won. That's what you wanted to hear anyway, right?"

Ben nodded with a bright grin on his face and started opening the buttons on his shirt then.  
Nellie still hesitated but when she saw how happy he looked as he glanced at the water, she was hit by this flash of joy, too and began untying her dress.

"God, you're so slow."  
Ben watched her amused as he was only standing in his undergarments.

She threw a glance at him and bit her lip to stop a gasp that was trying to escape.  
It was that moment when Nellie realised that she had never spent time thinking what Ben would actually look like under all these layers of clothes. This was probably the case because they were children when they'd met; and children simply don't think about this.

But now that she had a chance to scrutinize him like that, she knew she would certainly spend more time thinking about it in the future.

He had really toned arms. She wondered how he found time to train them when he was working in his father's shop all day. Also, he was naturally skinny. But not in an unhealthy way but in one, that was simply beautiful and looked certainly good on him. Nellie wondered how his upper body might look under this thin shirt he was still wearing. Maybe it was better, though. She feared she had passed out if she was already reacting to his still decent covered body in that way.

"When you stopped staring at me, maybe you plan on continuing your work, so that we can finally get us some cooling down?"

He laughed as he saw the once more blushing girl. Nellie fast continued without responding to his previous sentence. She only hoped she wouldn't be so awkward for the rest of the day and her body would finally function normally again.

She pulled off the last strings and loops and her dress finally got off, falling smoothly to the ground. Nellie stepped out of it - now only covered in bloomers and a corset.

Now it was Ben's time to stare.

Just as her, he had never spent time on thinking about his best friend's body. Actually, he had never thought about a woman's body in that way at all.

Nellie had really grown into a woman, he noticed. She got curvier. Not in a way, that she had gained weight but in one, that she was looking really feminine and grown-up now. Ben felt his tummy twist as he continued to stare at her, so he fast shook his head to get these thoughts out of his mind.

Of course, she looked more feminine now. They hadn't seen for 5 years, it was only natural for her to change and grow up. Ben shouldn't have these weird feelings while looking at her.

Nellie was his best friend and they shouldn't be embarrassed about going swimming together.

No matter what they were wearing - or not wearing - they were still Nellie and Ben.  
"Can you even breathe in that…that thing?" he asked to ease the tensions again and pointed at her corset.

She laughed lightly and nodded.

"It only depends on how strong you tie it. I'm not one of these girls who tie it so strong that you can't even walk properly anymore, only to impress the boys."

He looked at her, a smirk creeping onto his face.

"How do you impress them? With your nice character and your baking skills?"

Before Nellie could even take the sentence in fully, Ben had run closer to the water.

What an idiot, she thought amused and followed him.

"On three?" he asked her and took her hand.

She smiled as she felt his hand in hers.

"On three."

"1"

"2"

"3" they said at the same time and ran into the water. Both of them gasped as the cold water reached their legs and further parts of their bodies the deeper they ran in.

When they got used to the temperature of the definitely colder river, they relaxed and could finally enjoy some cooling down on this hot day.

Nellie stroked with her hands through the water and watched happily how the structure of it changed under her touch and how the waves moved around her body.

"When I was small, I always wanted to live by the sea" she said after a time of both being quiet and just enjoying the sound of the water around them.  
"And now you don't anymore?" Ben asked, focusing back on her.

She shrugged lightly, not saying anything for a while.

"I think it was naive to dream of it. When I was still a child, it was normal I guess, but now I should realise that some things simply don't happen and that I'll probably stay here forever."

"But why? Maybe in some years, you have enough money from working in the pie shop and then you can move there. Or the man you'll marry takes you there."

He smiled at her but she just turned her eyes back to the water. She's always been just as optimistic as he was but not about this topic.

"Maybe" was everything she responded.

Maybe he was right.

Maybe she really only had to work more and put some money aside and then her dream wasn't as much out of reach as it was now.

Maybe one day the man of her dreams would pass by and take her there.

Maybe…

But Nellie knew that wasn't the thing keeping her from making her dream come true.

"Hey, Nellie!" she heard Ben calling from a farer distance now.

She sighed and turned her head back to him.

"Wha-" a huge wave of water hit her face and drowned her completely in it.

She started coughing as the water that had entered her opened mouth tried to escape again. Nellie looked angrily around for the reason her hair was completely wet now; Ben.

The boy was some metres away from her and laughing loudly.

"You should look at yourself right now! You look so funny!"

He held his tummy from laughing so hard.

Nellie narrowed her eyes.

"Oh, swim. Swim fast, Benjamin. Before I catch you and have my revenge!"

Ben knew it was better to obey this warning and swam as fast as he could - with Nellie close behind him.

In the end, Nellie got her revenge and Ben was shocked in what extend. She turned out to be a faster swimmer than he could ever be and so he soon was completely soaked by water as well.

They fell into the grass later on, both completely exhausted and waiting to be dried by the now slowly setting sun.

"I think you were right. This could really be a nice life."

"What life?"

Nellie turned on her side to watch him. Ben, who had sat down, didn't take his eyes off the Thames as he was responding to her.

"By the sea."


	13. Chapter 13

_A/N: Happy Halloween if it's celebrated in a huge way where ever you live. Here, it isn't but anyway. :D  
_

* * *

"Ben, finally tell me what put you into such a good mood" Nellie demanded curiously and a little annoyed as they sat down on a bench in the park.  
The first snow had been fallen and Nellie was shivering in her thin clothes.

Ben had been happy the whole day and Nellie had absolutely no clue why. Of course, it was nice and she was glad that he was so joyful but still, she was also a really curious person and wanted to know the reason for it. But he rather had been absent the whole day - as if he wasn't listening to her most of the time.

But this time he seemed to have noticed her. Though, instead of answering he just shrugged and looked happily around the park. Nellie's impatience grew even bigger.  
Why didn't he want to tell her? Isn't happiness a thing worth sharing?

"Alright Ben, if you don't want to talk to me, then I might as well already go. It's really cold and I don't want to sit here, if it's no use anyway."

He turned around to her fast.

"No, no, no! Alright Nellie, I'm sorry. I'm going to tell you" he said, the smile appearing back on his face.

Nellie lent back with a sigh - waiting for a response.

Ben was looking at his folded hands now, still with a shy smile on his lips.

"I…don't really know how to start" he said grinning nervously.

Nellie frowned.  
Since when was Ben so hesitant with telling her something?

She felt like he might need her support or at least, like she should give him a supportive feeling. That's why she sat up normally again and put a hand on his arm.

"Nothing to worry about, you can tell me everything. Really everything."

She sent him a warm smile which obviously fulfilled the purpose because Ben sighed relieved and turned his eyes to her.

"I..." The smile appeared back on his face.  
"I met someone."

Nellie frowned. She didn't quite know how to respond to that.  
Why was that boy so awfully cryptic today?

As Nellie thought about a reply to this statement, Ben went on - oblivious to her confusion.

"Her name is Lucy. She has beautiful yellow hair. And her sparkling eyes; the prettiest green-brown eyes I've ever seen!"

It hit her completely out of the blue. He was talking about a girl. And he was talking about her with so much adoration, it made Nellie's body freeze.

Ben didn't even notice what was going on next to him. He seemed to be lost in his own dream world - without Nellie.

"And her voice…the voice of an angel. So light, so clear, so pure."  
The smile never disappeared from his face but only grew brighter with every feature he added.

"She really looks like a fairy. And she's so kind and polite. A real lady."

Nellie choked lightly; since when was being lady-like so important to him?

He had never mentioned that when the two of them had been together. And the way he talked of her; it was the way she wanted him to think of her. Nellie wanted to be the girl he talked of like that.

"Where…where did you meet?" Nellie finally got out, although her mouth was still completely dry.

But he seemed to be keen answering all her questions concerning the girl.

"Her father always comes for a shave to my father's shop. And some days ago she came with him. So while my father was serving him, we got to talk a bit. She is so great and beautiful. Tomorrow we're going to meet again."

Tomorrow? Nellie couldn't believe her ears.  
The two of them barely knew each other and Nellie already felt replaced by this Lucy-girl.  
She always thought she was the most important girl in Ben's life.  
But obviously, this wasn't the case any longer.

So, for the next hours Ben went on and on, telling Nellie every detail he had discovered about this yellow haired girl.

Nellie didn't even listen to him anymore after a time and only nodded every once in a while. Ben didn't notice anyway.

What was so great about that girl? What did she have that made her so bloody exciting? Yellow hair and green-brown eyes. Pah. As if this was something special.

Nellie kicked stared angrily at the ground.

She had looked forward to their meeting all day because it was a really busy time in Mrs Mooney's pie shop today. But now that everything had turned out like that, she wished the lady hadn't send her home so early.

"Nellie? Nellie?"

She winced as she heard her name. The girl had been so lost in thoughts that she didn't even notice Ben calling her name for some minutes already. She looked up to him with a slight apologetic smile.

"Sorry, lost in thoughts."

"Hope I didn't bore you too much."

"No, you didn't."

Lie.

"I'm just so happy that I can finally share it with someone."

"And I'm happy when you're happy."

Lie again. At least, when this girl was the reason he was so happy.

He smiled contently and lent back.

"Ha, it's such a nice day today."

It was snowing and freezing cold. Nellie couldn't quite see why this day could be so bloody nice but she blamed his inability of taking this in on the girl. She must have completely numbed his senses.

Silly girl, with her yellow hair and her stupid sparkling eyes.

Nellie's always been a jealous person but this time she was really surprised of herself to what extent this led. She already felt such a strong hatred for this girl although she's never met, nor seen her before.

"I'm really nervous about tomorrow. What if I don't know what to say? I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable or do something silly."

Then don't go, Nellie almost replied but stopped herself last second.  
She sighed. He was still her best friend, so she should support him.

"You won't." she replied, using all her strength. "Just be yourself and she can't do something else but like you."

Ben turned his head to her and smiled.

"Thank you, Nellie. You're the best."

She shot a weak smile back - flattered by his word but not in the state to fully believe them.

"Of course nothing will go wrong" he added himself then.  
"Not as long as I'm wearing this."

He pulled out a necklace from under his shirt and held it into the light.  
Nellie glanced shortly at it and gasped.

Could it be?

"You remember this?" He smiled at her.  
Of course, she did. She remembered it so well.

"I can't believe you still have it."

"How couldn't I? It was the most beautiful present I've ever got."

He smiled once more and put the talisman carefully back under his shirt.

"And it always worked. See, I even met you again. Who knows if that happened if I hadn't worn it."

She smiled back, truly touched by his words and moved by the gesture. Nellie had almost forgotten about the talisman she had made for him so many years ago.

At that time she wanted him to have something that always reminded him of her. Something he could always carry with him and that would be close to his heart and protect him.

She lent back as well; now a slight smile making its way on her face.

Maybe not all hope was gone yet.

* * *

But she had been wrong. Nellie had been naive to think that this girl wouldn't make her way into Ben's life.

In the beginning she had hoped it was just a temporary thing.

They would spend some time together, get bored of each other and Nellie would be the centre of his attention again.

But she was wrong.  
The more time passed, the closer Ben and Lucy got.

In the end, Nellie was happy if she could catch Ben once a week.  
The other days, he spent working even longer or he was out with that girl.

If he took her to the places, Nellie and Ben used to go?

She didn't even want to think about it. The pure thought made her tummy squirm and her heart break.

Nellie had never felt so useless in her life.  
And no matter how often Ben told her that she was his best friend and no matter how often he apologized for not having enough time - she knew, deep in his heart, he enjoyed every minute with the yellow haired girl.

She felt so alone that she voluntarily offered Mrs Mooney to work longer in the evenings and even went on when the lady was already gone.

At first, all the work had helped; it really distracted her.  
But after all these weeks, it had become such a routine that her thoughts became dominant again and the cleaning was just a activity she'd do meanwhile.

There seemed to be no escape from this solitude.

She tried to put all her energy and happiness into the few hours she got to spend with Ben now but her heart told her that this would never be enough.

Not even Ben could stop the feelings developing inside of her, slowly making her go crazy; the jealousy, the neglecting, the loneliness.

No warm smiles, no nice gestures, no talisman, no hours in the park or at the Thames could make her forget Lucy and stop hating her.  
Because Lucy had Ben.  
And Ben was the only person Nellie truly cared about.

Was he even thinking of her anymore?  
Was he even caring about her anymore?

Nellie didn't know what to think any longer and the more time passed, the more uncertain she got.

Ben and Lucy got to spend all the time Nellie and Ben had spent before.  
And Lucy was slowly replacing her.

Why did life have to be like this?  
Why did some people get everything and others get nothing?  
Why did Lucy get the whole package - the beauty, the lovely character, _Ben_?

And why did Nellie - after all she's gone through, after all the hard work and all the tears - why did she get nothing and was all by herself again?


	14. Chapter 14

_A/N: Thanks for all the nice reviews every time again. You guys keep me going. xx_

* * *

"I love you."

Nellie's jaw dropped. Was this a dream? Was this her pure imagination?

Ben sat next to her on the branch and had turned to her some moments ago. He smiled at her when he said it. Her mouth went completely dry and she wasn't able to form a sentence in her head. Ben scrutinized her the whole time - probably waiting for a response.

She couldn't believe it. Could it be? Could it be after all this time?

"Do you think she loves me, too?"

She felt her heart break into a million pieces. How could she be so blind and even think for one second that he could mean her? Nellie hardly fought against the tears that were building up.

She looked at Ben who smiled brightly at her, eager for her reply. The girl looked down fast, not able to bear his love-filled gaze any longer; not since it didn't belong to her.

"I…yes…sure" she whispered, every word another ache.

Ben was oblivious to what his confession had done to her.

"I'm so excited. Valentine's Day is soon, you know? And I planned on finally telling what I really feel for her. I'm so nervous. I hope she loves me, too. Ha, she's perfect."

He smiled again and swung his legs happily while humming a melody fitting its rhythm.

Nellie felt completely numb. She couldn't believe it.  
Since the day Ben had told her about Lucy, she lived in a state of denial.

All this time, she had hoped that it would be over soon - that they both got tired of each other and stopped seeing. But the more time passed, the more Nellie had to realise that it was pure naiveté: the more time passed, the closer they got. They were almost inseparable by now.

She tried to ignore it, which worked well because they never really talked about her and if they did, Nellie had always changed the topic. But now it all came crushing down on her. She felt like she might choke from the pain she was trying to hide inside of her.

And the worst thing was that she couldn't tell him.

She couldn't tell him what she really felt; she couldn't tell him that she'd die to be that girl for him; because it wouldn't change a thing. He'd probably only feel guilty and it wasn't fair of her to blame him for her feelings although it'd probably be easier then.

Ben loved Lucy; it was so obvious that Nellie couldn't believe this statement was still so shocking to her now. She should have known that something like this would happen sooner or later.  
But she had probably hoped it would be rather later than now.

Ben happily chatted on about how he planned to tell her but Nellie shut him off.  
She was lost in her own sadness, trapped in a bubble filled with heartbreak and jealousy:

Jealousy for the girl who can have the whole lot.

What did this stupid Lucy girl think who she was?  
That she could simply walk into his life and could have him all for herself?  
What about Nellie?  
What about her feelings?  
She had been there for Ben when Lucy didn't even know about his existence and this should be for nothing now?

She was so disappointed.

She couldn't believe Ben would be so charmed by a girl. A simple girl. A girl he only knew some months.  
What did she have that Nellie hadn't?  
Was it only this stupid yellow hair he had always been talking about?

"Nellie, are you listening to me?"

She winced and turned to him.

"No, sorry…I was…lost in thoughts" she replied weakly, not to eager to know what piece of new information about the Lucy-girl she might get now.

"I asked you to help me." The smile appeared on his face again.

"With…what?"  
She didn't want to know.

He rolled his eyes smirking, obviously trying to tell her playfully that he mentioned it already but Nellie wasn't in the mood to joke now.

"I asked you how I should tell her."  
He bit his lip nervously, probably really struggling with the plan.

"Well…just tell" she simply responded, hoping to end the conversation.

"No…I can't just tell her. This has to be bigger."

You obviously didn't have a problem with just telling me.

She fought back some angry tears again. What did he think? That she would happily suggest him the most romantic ways of telling the yellow-haired girl that he loved her?

"Nellie, please…" he said sadly. "I'm really nervous. You're my best friend, I trust you. You're the only one who can help me with this."

Nellie looked up to him. This was really getting to him. She sighed deeply. It would break her heart but he was right.

She was still his best friend and no matter what happened, she wouldn't want to lose him once again.

So, she put all her courage together and tried to hide all the pain and sadness inside of her to be there for him, to help him with his problem.  
"Well…you're telling her for the first time that you love her; the three most magical words in this world."

She picked every word carefully, trying not to expose herself in front of him.

"It has to be really romantic."

Ben sighed quietly.

"I…m not really good at these romantic things…"

Nellie closed her eyes, trying to think of all the things about romance she had read in her books. She'd always had a weakness for these things; the flowers, the love-filled looks…  
The girl shook her head, trying not to focus on these images and how much she had always wished she's experience them one day, too.

Then she got an idea.

"You should take her to the Thames place. Remember, the place we've always been and where we went swimming some months ago? Get there in the evening, watch the stars and then you tell her…"

Ben turned to her, smiling brightly.

"What a great idea! You're the best, Nellie!"  
He hugged her and tugged her close to himself.

She hid the face in his chest, trying to capture this moment.

Nellie had always felt so safe in his arms; as if nothing could harm her as long as he held her like this. But now it only increased the pain going on inside of her and it sent waves of sadness through her body.

Once more Nellie was glad that she had such a good self-control or she had been breaking down sobbing and breathing heavily once more.

Ben got back after a time, smiling sweetly at her and stroking back some strands that had been falling into her face.

She wished this moment could last forever.

But it was over earlier than she had hoped and Ben slid back on his previous position.

Nellie looked down the tree; neither able to think of a subject they could talk about, nor in the mood to find one. She simply wanted the day to be over, so she could hide in the sheets of her bed and simply pity herself in her miserable situation.

She focused on a squirrel that was making its way up the tree; a big nut in its mouth, probably stocking up for the following cold days. The girl tried to pay all of her attention on it but it soon disappeared inside a hole in a tree and left Nellie alone with her thoughts again.

"Nellie…can I ask you for another favour?"

Ugh, these cryptic questions.

She turned back to him, scrutinizing him. Sometimes she simply couldn't make a rhyme out of his words.

"What is it?"

He bit his lip, obviously afraid of her reaction.

"I…don't know how to say it…"

You weren't so nervous with pretending your confession was for me earlier!

"Just tell me, Ben. Nothing to be scared of."

He inhaled deeply, putting the sentence into a logical order into his head before he said:

"I…never kissed a girl before."

Nellie's eyes widened.  
Had she heard this correctly?  
What did he want to tell her with this?

"…so…" Nellie asked hesitantly.

"Well…" he turned back to her again. "I hoped you could…help me with this?"

He smiled lightly, trying to cover his nervousness.

Nellie frowned.

"Ben…I've never kissed a girl either. How should I help you with this?"

He laughed lightly at her blunt statement but fast got serious again.

"That's not what I mean."

"Then what do you-"

And then it clicked. A sudden realisation flushed through her:

He wanted to kiss _her_.

She looked at him, an expression of shock on her face.

"You…you want to share your first kiss with … m-me?"

He nodded slowly.

"Yes…I trust you so much and I feel so nervous about this, so I thought…we could both experience this together."

The light smile appeared on his face again. She noticed how awkward he felt about this whole topic but how important it was to him at the same time.

Nellie thought about her options.

She could refuse his proposal, which would be her good right and probably the best decision if she didn't want her heart to break even further.  
Or she could give in and could be something Lucy would never be able to be; Ben's first kiss.

Nellie had never been too reasonable, that's why the response already came out of her mouth before she even thought it through properly:

"Alright…let's do it."

A brighter smile crept onto his face and a wave of relief seemed to flush through him; almost as if she had taken all of his doubts away, by simply agreeing to his proposal.

"You don't know how much this means to me."

He slid closer to her.

No, you don't know how much this means to me.

Nellie felt her heart racing, her hands started shaking lightly.

Ben closed his eyes and moved his head closer to hers, slightly tilting it so that their noses wouldn't bump against each other.

Nellie simply watched him - too taken aback to fully take in what was happening right now.  
With every inch he got closer to her, the more her body was driving crazy.

When their lips met she couldn't fight it any longer, though and closed her eyes as well.

His mouth was so soft on hers. She never imagined it could feel that good.

Ben laid an arm carefully around her. He pulled her closer and stroked in comforting movements over her back. It worked. Nellie felt so much at ease that she would have probably fallen off the tree if he hadn't held her that way. But she couldn't care less at that moment.

She replied when he started to move his lips on hers; firstly because she didn't want him to feel awkward and secondly because even if she didn't want to, her body would have reacted differently anyway.

He cupped her cheek with the other hand and moved his fingers in soft and tender circles over it. She smiled against his mouth. Her whole body was filled with hormones that made her heart beat faster and faster. It was simply too good to be true.

This felt so right. Their lips moved in a perfect rhythm, almost as if they've always been waiting for this moment; to be united.

She never imagined kissing a boy could feel like this. Kissing had never been a big issue for her. But now that she was experiencing it, she didn't know if she could ever think of something else again.

In these small seconds, Nellie's world was alright again and all the pain was forgotten.


	15. Chapter 15

_A/N: Half of the story is done! Can't believe I acutally managed it so far, haha. Thanks again for all the kind reviews and thanks to everyone who sticked around. xx_

* * *

Nellie hadn't really slept for weeks.

Since the incident with Ben and his confession to her, she didn't find a minute without thinking about it.

It drove her crazy and she hated herself for being influenced so badly by the whole thing.  
Why couldn't she simply stay out of it? Why couldn't she let it be and leave them alone with their feelings?

But the more she thought about Ben, the more she noticed it was because she had feelings, too; strong feelings, indeed. And she knew she wouldn't be able to simply shut them down, no matter how hard she'd try.

Nellie remembered that Ben had told her once what school the Lucy-girl attended.

Normally this would be no useful information to her, but not in that case. It was one of the few things she remembered concerning that issue, at all.

It was Tuesday and Mrs Mooney had given her the day off because she didn't feel too well and didn't want Nellie to do all the work. Usually, Nellie would have protested and would have loved to do all the work because of the money and the distraction it had given her.  
But today she had different plans.

At 2 pm she made her way through the city, entering the wealthy area.

She shivered as she looked at the huge buildings around her. It reminded her on the incident so many years ago. It was still so clear to her, as if it had happened yesterday.

But she tried to shove these thoughts and memories aside and simply tried to concentrate on her plan.

Nellie arrived at the school and sat down on a bench opposite it. The lessons didn't seem to be over yet, since the schoolyard was blank and there was no sign of any student anywhere.

She looked around. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.  
What was she expecting from this visit anyway?

First of all, she's never seen the girl before, so it could literally be anyone.  
Secondly, did she plan on sneaking after her like a stalker? And even if no one noticed, what would it change?

But before Nellie could even think about returning, the huge doors opened and a crowd of girls stormed out, obviously relieved the school day was over.

Nellie looked hastily through the groups, trying to find the girl she was looking for.  
Of course, it was silly because "yellow hair" and "green-brown eyes" hadn't been such a precise description from Ben's side.

She almost gave up when two girls passing her started chatting.

"Lucy, it's so unfair. The teachers love you."

Lucy.

Well, no matter if it was a good idea or not, Nellie wouldn't have been reasonable now anyway.

She slowly looked up from her place and watched the two girls going down the street. Nellie got up from the bench and followed them, always taking care of leaving some space between them.

The girl couldn't get the conversation going on in front of her but it didn't matter.  
Her whole plan had been to finally see the girl that Ben was so deeply in love with.

And she had to admit she was a bit disappointed.

Of course, he had been right. She had nice yellow hair and her face was quite fair and pretty but that was about it; nothing special about her, just a normal pretty girl.

Or was this her jealousy speaking again?

Nellie shook her head. She could still form an appropriate opinion about what she saw, and what she saw was nothing special.

How could Ben be so blind? What did this Lucy do that makes her so special in his eyes?

Maybe she has a nice character, Nellie thought, but her jealousy came through once more and shoved this thought away.

To her, Lucy looked like a superficial rich girl who was only thinking about herself and her appearance.

Nothing more.

And Nellie deeply hoped she was right about that and Ben might get this thought as well.

Uff.

Nellie fell onto the chair in her room. After she had finished her mission on finding out more about Lucy, she had run through the whole city, looking for something particular.

She's got an idea.

If Ben was so in love with Lucy, but Nellie knew that Lucy wouldn't be good enough for him, then Nellie had to change it.

The plan was so easy, yet she'd never thought about it before.

If Ben loved that girl's yellow hair so much, then Nellie would get hers lighter for him.  
If he loved this high-pitched laughter Nellie had witnessed, then she would learn this as well.

She'd practically do anything she could, if it brought her closer to Ben again.

That's why she had looked through the whole city - trying to find the cheapest chemicals to bleach your hair; because of the lack of money she had to look for this substance in some dark alley.

But she thought it might have the same effect and it couldn't be that hard anyway.

She'd seen many people with bleached hair, so it was probably done in a couple of minutes.

Nellie sat down at her table and got it out. Eyeing the bottle sceptically, she opened it.

Maybe one strand for the beginning, she thought, carefully pulling out a strand out of the messy braid.

She bent closer to the table and started rubbing it in hesitantly.  
As she got the whole strand covered, she bent back again and looked at herself in the mirror.

No changes yet.

She sighed dramatically and lent back in the chair, closing her eyes.

Nellie couldn't believe she was actually doing this; only for some boy?  
But she fast corrected herself: it wasn't just "some" boy.  
It was _Ben_ - the only boy for her.

She didn't even notice that she had fallen asleep until she awoke with a slight pain in her neck.  
Lightly grimacing she sat up again and opened her eyes.

The mirror reflected her expression of shock.  
The strand she had covered in the bought chemicals was completely broken.  
Some hairs had fallen down and some had been broken in the middle.

Nellie jumped up from her chair and fast got her comb out of another room.  
She returned and started to carefully comb through the strand with it.

She almost started crying as she noticed that she only made it worse.  
The strand was nearly off completely as she put the comb down again.

She got one last idea and ran into the kitchen to the sink. Nellie bent over and washed the chemical last rest out of her hair. Then she sat down in her room again and eyed what had remained.

Thank god, I haven't tried the whole hair, she thought to herself.

She braided her hair again once it was dry and sighed relieved as she saw that the strand luckily wasn't that thick; so it was almost unnoticeable if you didn't know what had happened before.  
No hair bleaching anymore, she promised herself.

But this also meant her plan had failed; her plan to be more like Lucy and less like Nellie.

She sighed deeply as the tears started building in her eyes.

Why couldn't Ben see this now?  
Why could't he finally notice how much she was willing to give for him?

But she knew that she wouldn't have wanted him to see her like this - broken.  
And she also didn't want to blame him.  
It wasn't his fault.  
He couldn't change his feeling but neither could she.

She never thought she'd end up in such a miserable situation:  
On the one side, there was Ben - her best friend, her light in the dark.  
On the other side, there were her feelings.  
And there simply seemed to be no way to combine both things since Ben's feelings only belonged to Lucy.

Nellie noticed she could never be like Lucy, no matter how hard she'd try.  
And even if her hair experiment had worked, would it have changed a thing?  
Would he have thought of her in a different way?  
Would he have forgotten Lucy?

Nellie doubted it.  
His feelings already seemed to be too strong; there was no way she could change them anymore.

As the realisation finally flushed through her, hot tears started streaming down Nellie's cheeks.


End file.
